


Safe and Sound

by 1Q96



Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Background Character Death (mentioned), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Magnus Bane's past, Suicide (mentioned), depression (mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-12
Updated: 2017-04-12
Packaged: 2018-10-18 00:24:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10605432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/1Q96/pseuds/1Q96
Summary: He anxiously entered the loft, and was met with an empty living room. There was a growing fear inside him due to the unusual silence surrounding the place.“Magnus?”, he called out. He held his breath and listened, but there was only silence.After a few moments, he heard a quietcling, like a few pieces of ice collided with glass. He glanced up to his right and stared at the door leading to Magnus’s bedroom.___Or, Magnus acting strange all day, and then Alec witnessing something that broke hisgoddamnheart.





	

**Author's Note:**

> **WARNING:** _mention of depression and eventual suicide of a character from Magnus's past._

The elevator stopped with a loud _ding_. 

Alec looked up as the doors open a little too slowly, revealing the path towards Magnus’s loft. He took a deep breath, and cautiously moved towards the loft’s entrance as he thought about the events that happened earlier that day.

_________________________________

He knew that there was something going on with Magnus. His boyfriend wasn’t his usual self, and nobody paid attention to this except for Alec. Magnus appeared to be fine in the eyes of everyone, but Alec could see the reality behind every smile, laugh, and flourish of his hands. Every once in a while, Alec could see Magnus’s expression slip for a tiny bit, and a hint of sadness would appear in those dark brown glamoured eyes. However, before anyone could notice, it would vanish just as quickly as it appeared.

It happened a few times that day.

By the time Magnus excused himself and announced that he’ll retire for the night, Alec threw a concern look at his way.

_Are you okay? What’s wrong?_

Magnus met his gaze, and just calmly shook his head. His mouth turned up slightly at the corners, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“Can I come over later?”, Alec asked, intertwining their hands together and placing a soft kiss on the back of Magnus’s hand. “I just need to finish this report about yesterday's mission, and then I’m free to go.”

Magnus lifted his free hand and gently brushed Alec’s cheek with his thumb. After a moment, he smiled, but that didn’t convince Alec that he was alright “Of course you can, Alexander. I’ll leave my door open for you.”

“Okay. Well, I’ll see you later.”, Alec nodded, placing a quick kiss on his boyfriend’s lips. He added another one on his forehead. “I love you.”

“I love you too, my dear.” Magnus said, as placed a kiss on his cheek.

He lets go of Alec's hand, and Alec watched as Magnus left the Institute without another word.

_________________________________

Alec stood outside of the loft’s entrance, contemplating on whether or not he should knock on the door. Magnus did tell him that the door will be left open for him, but he figured that it’s still respectful to let Magnus know he’s here. With a deep sighed, he lifted his knuckles and tapped on the door twice. He waited a few minutes, but it seemed that no one was around to greet him. He turned the door knob to check if it was locked, and it opened without much of a fight.

_Just as he promised._

He anxiously entered the loft, and was met with an empty living room. There was a growing fear inside him due to the unusual silence surrounding the place.

“Magnus?”, he called out. He held his breath and listened, but there was only silence.

After a few moments, he heard a quiet _cling,_ like a few pieces of ice collided with glass. He glanced up to his right and stared at the door leading to Magnus’s bedroom.

“Magnus? Are you there?”, he spoke up again, trying to catch any hint of his presence in the room. He listened carefully, and heard someone move from inside the bedroom. 

Alec took a few steps towards the door, and stopped right in front of it. From where he stood, he could hear a slight movement on the bed as it creaked softly, and he could’ve swore that he heard someone sniffed—as if that person was crying.

Alec lightly knocked on the door twice. “Hey, are you alright in there?”, he asked quietly. He deliberately turned the door knob, and opened the door. As he looked up, the scene that greeted him broke his heart.

Magnus sat on top of his large bed, with his back pressed against the bed frame. He was dressed down for tonight, like how he usually dresses whenever he knows that random people won’t go around and disturb him. He wore his deep crimson silk robe on top of his bare upper body, paired together with his black pajama bottoms. His hands were gripping on a glass filled with some alcoholic substance— _it looks like whiskey?_ —and his fingers were shaking as he traces the outline of the glass's opening.

But what broke Alec’s heart was seeing Magnus’s face.

When Alec opened the door, Magnus glanced up and shocked his boyfriend with his bloodshot eyes and running nose. His cheeks were red and tear-stained, and his mouth quivered as he sniffed to breathe. His perfect make-up was smudged all over his eyes and cheeks. His hair was all over the place, and it looked as if a hand brushed on it a few times— _aggressively_. 

He looked like a _mess_ —a tired, yet still beautiful, mess.

Alec stayed frozen in his place, but snapped out of it when he heard his boyfriend choked back a sob. He immediately went towards Magnus’s side, and sat beside him. Alec gently cupped Magnus’s face in his hands, and stroke away the tears that slipped down his cheeks. Magnus closed his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down. When he opened them again, Alec was startled for a moment when his hazel eyes met Magnus’s amber cat eyes instead of the usual dark brown glamoured ones.

When he recovered from his momentary state of shock, Alec didn’t say anything as he got up and went to Magnus’s dressing table. He went through the different types of drawers, and, after a few minutes, he eventually found what he was looking for. He brought with him a few cotton pads and a bottle of eye make-up remover as he walked back up to his place on the bed. Magnus looked at him curiously but he doesn’t say a word. With a look that says _don’t worry, I got you_ , Alec started to put eye make-up remover on a cotton pad. Once it was drench, he motioned for Magnus to close his eyes. When he obliged, Alec lightly held the cotton pad against one of his closed eyes. Then, carefully, Alec wiped the make-up away with a gentle swipe.

Afterwards, when he was done removing the remnants of eye make-up on Magnus’s face, Alec reached out and took the glass of whiskey away from Magnus’s hand and set it on the bedside table. Once Magnus’s hands were free, Alec tenderly pulled his boyfriend into his arms. Magnus, in turn, wrapped his arms around Alec’s torso, and he released a shaky breath as he felt Alec kiss his temple.

They held each other for what seemed like hours on end. At some point, Magnus started crying silently again, and Alec tried his best to kiss the tears away while he rubbed circles around Magnus's back.

_I love you. I’m here for you. Everything’s going to be alright._

Eventually, when Magnus regained his composure, Alec laid both of them down on the bed. With arms around each other, Magnus buried his face against Alec’s neck and placed a quick kiss there. Alec pulled him closer, and reached his hand out to brush it against Magnus’s messy hair.

“Alexander,” Magnus whispered, his fingers tracing patterns on Alec’s chest. "I’m sorry that you caught me in this state. It must’ve been weird to witness me like this.”

Alec shook his head, and placed a soft kiss on Magnus’s forehead. “It’s okay, Magnus. You don’t have to apologize for anything.”

“It’s just—It’s one of those bad days...”

“You don’t have to explain anything if you don’t want to. It’s fine, really.”

Magnus tilted his head to look at Alec, and Alec saw in his eyes that he _wanted_ to explain. He saw in Magnus’s eyes that he wanted to let go of everything that he’s been bottling up inside of him for so long. He needs someone to understand what he’s been going through. He needs someone to help him carry the burden that is too heavy to handle on his own. He needs someone to hold him, to assure him that it’s okay to be vulnerable sometimes.

He needs Alec.

With a look of understanding, Alec nodded for Magnus to continue.

“It’s my mother’s death anniversary today,” Magnus explained quietly as he rested his hand on Alec’s chest. “It’s one of those days when it just gets really bad. It’s been centuries, but still…”

Alec didn’t know how to respond to that. So, instead of saying anything, he tightened his arms around Magnus.

“I was nine years old when my mother realized what my cat eyes meant.”, Magnus went on. “She couldn’t deal with the fact that she bore a son of a demon. The revelation drove her mad, and she became distant from the world, especially from me. As time went on, it got worse. It pained her to look at me, to look at my cat eyes. She had fallen into depression, and it came to a point where she no longer talked or ate. Then, one day, she couldn’t take it anymore. So, she took her own life using that very blade.”

Alec followed Magnus’s gaze towards the other end of the room, where a blade was displayed on top of a console table filled with other decors from Magnus’s past.

“My step-father blamed me for her death,” Magnus babbled on, a few tears forming on the corner of his eyes. He inhaled slowly, making his lips quiver. “He tried to drown me, but I accidentally lashed out on him and burned a good portion of his body. After that, I ran away and never saw him again.”

Alec placed his finger under Magnus’s chin, and tilted his head. Alec brushed away a single tear that fell on Magnus’s cheek with his thumb, and rested his hand there. He stared at Magnus's beautiful amber cat eyes for a while, and he wondered how much pain those eyes have seen and felt for years. Thinking about what Magnus just told him, Alec felt the pain of his heart breaking inside his chest.

“I’m so sorry, Magnus.”, Alec murmured, as a few tears form on his eyes as well. “I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay, my dear.”, Magnus said. It was his turn to wipe a few tears that fell from his Alexander’s eyes. “It’s all in the past. I wouldn’t be here today if I hadn’t gone through some bumps and turns along the way. It just—it gets very difficult sometimes.”

Alec nodded. “I’m always be here for you, especially when it gets difficult, okay? Promise me you’ll tell me when it gets bad again.”

“I promise.”

“I love you. You know that, right?”

“I know. I love you too, Alexander.”, Magnus mumbled, as he tucked face back to Alec’s neck. He  moved closer to Alec and wrapped his arms around him. “And thank you.”

After a few moments, Alec could feel Magnus relax from his position, and could hear a soft snore coming from his boyfriend. The sound comforted Alec, and as he himself felt sleep coming for him, he placed one last kiss on Magnus’s temple before he drifts off to join him.

**Author's Note:**

> That was heavy. 
> 
> Thank you for reading my (second) Malec fic! I've read recently that there may be a scene in Season 2b wherein Magnus will tell Alec about his past, and it got me thinking on how will they portray that on the show. So, I came up with this little piece. I'm a bit nervous with this one since I'm not used to writing stuff like this, so please leave a comment and let me know if you think this is okay or not. I apologize in advance if this upsets anyone of you.
> 
> Also, this piece is not beta'd so I apologized if there are any mistakes! English isn't my first language, but I try my best to write with good grammar, punctuations, spelling, etc.
> 
> And if you want to be friends, my tumblr is [troubleusuallyfinds-me](http://troubleusuallyfinds-me.tumblr.com/). Come say hi! I don't bite (I swear!)


End file.
